The internet is awash in ooohs and ahhhhs over the debut of “Caitlyn”, Bruce Jenner’s new female alter-ego. “She looks beautiful,” we say. “How inspiring,” someone sighs. “Love wins,” says another, not because it has any bearing on the case but because it felt good to say and that is our baseline of morality now – how something feels, not whether said thing is right or wrong.
OK, so the pundits are gushing and social media is flowing like wine. We all feel quite open-minded and pleased with ourselves about our own generosity of spirit, because we are following the vapid crowd and praising a 65-year-old grandfather for becoming a “girlfriend” to his/her daughter, for posing in lingerie on the cover of Vanity Fair.
I have a serious question though: what does this new era mean for feminism?
To be clear, I am not a feminist. I believe that women are created by God for a unique and beautiful purpose that no man can fulfill, but I don’t need free birth control or abortion-on-demand in order to know that I’m powerful, an “ezer kenegdo” in the life of my husband and a positive force in my community. I’m not a feminist, I’m a woman. There’s a difference.
But here’s my question for you, feminists – how do you reconcile this fanfare over Caitlyn Jenner? She’s not a rough-looking girl, that’s for sure, and she’s careful not to show us her large hands. She is certainly shaved in all the right places and she is carefully tilting her head to show us a “feminine” style. So, what does this mean for your movement? Are we supposed to shave and shear and look pretty for the applause of the world? It’s certainly working for Caitlyn, but I’m confused – I thought such superficiality was mocked by true believers. Also, what about the insistence that men and women are no different, that women can head into combat and fight fires just as well as a man can? It seems obvious that Caitlyn refutes such a belief by her very existence – she insists that she feels uniquely female and society admitted that such a thing was possible (ah! the terror! it’s like telling women they’re good at mothering or cooking!) and applauded her feelings. Isn’t that strange? If you really think that men and women are basically the same why would we stand for such an outrage? She’s blaspheming your very cause!
Oh, but wait, she’s not – or maybe she is. Because there’s another side to feminism that states that women are sparkly princesses worthy of adoration on the mere basis of womanhood alone. You possess a va-jay-jay, therefore you are a magical creature who everyone must cater to and worship at all times. We must admire your beauty but we can’t cat-call. We must love every aspect of you without insisting that you look a certain way, dress a certain way or even behave like a lady – you are worthy of red-carpet adulation simply because of gender. But, feminists, are you really going to let Caitlyn into this club? You’ve fought for this rights and now he/she can be equally admired?
Feminists, I’m so confused. There seems to be no playbook anymore, just a whim of fancies and dreams. One moment we’re told that unless you possess a va-jay-jay you are not allowed to weigh in on abortion or birth control, but then we applaud the installation of a surgically implanted va-jay-jay and welcome her into our discourse. Women are unique and special and powerful Phoenixes, you say, but actually there is no such thing as a woman, not really, because there are transgender and non-gender and we’ve given our identity away – asking nothing in return, and getting nothing, because we are nothing but a political cause that runs its course and manipulates the weak and the lonely.
Here’s the truth – men and women are created uniquely in the image of God, and we should be celebrated. Wholeness is not found in the plastic surgery and disguise of one’s biology, nor in the “coming out” on a magazine cover. It’s not found in the applause of the masses, nor in the stunning photography and titillating articles that excite our desire for the new and different, interesting and fantastical. The truth is that we’ve traded beauty in for obscenity and we no longer have a North Star. As much as we insist that the world still makes sense we know it doesn’t, because the rules, the language and the meaning of all of it are constantly changing, at least to us. We run faster and faster, fingers in our ears, desperately trying to escape the reality we were born into; papering it over with compliments and in-vogue phrases, trying to prove that God got it wrong, that we can do better, if we only keep running.
Feminists, it’s time for some soul-searching. What makes a woman and why should anyone care? I know that God can answer that question, but I don’t think you can; not anymore.